Our dating expert challenges us to rip off our masks when dating and be prepared to reveal the Trueself, warts and all.

• Is it a good idea to hide a sordid past?
• The benefits of clearing out baggage at the outset.
• Enter into dating feeling free.
• Hiding stuff causes worry; be authentic!

How was your Halloween? Did you get all decked out in an outrageous costume and hit some parties or did you stay home and give candy out to the neighborhood kids?

This year for Halloween, I wanted get in touch with my inner kid. Not only did I wear a costume, I Trick ‘n’ Treated too!

But I’m not keeping the candy that I got. I’m donating it to a local pre-school for their teacher meetings – except for the few I gobbled up on the way ;)

What does this have to do with dating? I’m getting there…

It was so exciting to see all the really cool costumes kids and adults sported this Halloween. There were, of course, witches, Transformers, the Bride of Frankenstein and more Spidermen than you could keep track of. And this is where the dating part comes in. It reminds me of dating in a HUGE way. Of how we tend to put on a facade, in other words, hide behind a mask when we’re dating and getting to know someone – sometimes we don’t even know it and a lot of times we do!

I like to consider this our "Representatives".

The Representatives are those facets of ourselves we tend to hide behind and eventually reveal to the person we’re dating.

Actually, it’s pretty normal, and very OK, not to reveal our "stuff" at the beginning, but some guys still try to hide – stay stuck in not allowing themselves to be themselves. Why is that? And yes, it’s even OK not to go there about your past at all. Especially, if you’ve already done the healing ground work. You’ve done the work, so, there is no need to re-hash it. Honestly.

While I’m on that note, it’s also OK not to share every detail of your past relationships with your current one. Often times, I experience other men making their past relationships part of their current one. Sharing is very healthy, but not when it becomes too big a part of the new relationship. Sounds like a lot of "past hopping". Let me ask you…

Do you try hiding your sordid past?

Do you try to hide that you are a moody person? Or…

Are you anxious he’ll find out that you've slept around or that you once had an STD or that you have a prison record? OK – I’m teasing about the prison record, but you never know!

What about a drinking problem or that you have a secret porn fascination?

Wouldn’t it be liberating if you could drop those burdens and be worry free? You know, stop hiding behind that mask, fire those "Representatives" and shine your true light!

The Truth is: Most guys might not give two hoots about your past – at least if he’s a non-judgmental, open-minded man that you attracted into your life. (If he's all too worried about it then that should be a hint.)

How many times have you dated someone and over time you realise they’re not always being themselves? You’re sensing that he’s trying to hide something. Or, after a few months of pure bliss, you are noticing unattractive qualities about his behavior?

Maybe you do the same thing. You try so hard to conceal the ugly spots – and for some reason it always backfires.

What would it be like if you could: Date and not worry at all about your less than perfect facets?

Be worry free about your past when it comes to life AND dating?

Empty some of that baggage – isn’t it getting a little too heavy?

Learn how to navigate through and resolve heavy conflict with effective communication. Stop, take a moment to breathe, celebrate stillness and actually resolve your issues before you start dating.

Sounds like a dream, huh? Walking through life feeling light and baggage free? It’s a reality, or at least it can be in your life. I’m not trying to convince you that everything has to be absolutely perfect. I’m saying that, clearing away some of that darkness and allowing more light in will increase your chances of meeting Mr. Wonderful; that relationship you dream about every day.

It’s time to stop tripping over your baggage and start unpacking. It’s been in your way long enough. Once you give it a name and face, it’s easier to say goodbye to it.

So, make amends with the past, put your best foot forward and date authentically. Remember, dating isn’t a burden - it’s an OPPORTUNITY! (Warts and all!)

Until next time, Your friend,

Greg Halpen

Greg Halpen is an internationally known and recognized author and speaker. He takes single gay men step-by-step from lost, confused, and frustrated about dating to learning all the skills they need to turn their love life around 100%. To find out more about Greg, go to www.thegayguyslovecoach.com