A wonderful guide to the way body movements can reveal how interested a potential partner is – and just what you might be revealing to them.

• Up to 93% of the first impression comes from body language
• The first few seconds count
• Look for a triangular motion in the eyes
• Blink, blink, blink and raise the eyebrows!
• Mirror the movements of your date to draw them in

However you cut it, planning the perfect opening line to deliver on your first date will only go so far in creating the right impression; just seven percent of the impression we make comes from what we say!

The remaining ninety-three percent of that first impression comes from our body language and tone of voice. Of course, over time what we say is very important; it's just that our date is unlikely to stick around for long enough to hear what we have to say if we create an uninviting first impression with our body and tone of voice.

So, what to do?!

It would be a very good idea to think about the entrance we make. This is going to be the first impression and is hugely significant. Our new date will forgive a lot of what follows (getting tongue-tied etc.) if what they see in the first few seconds feels and looks right. This will include the way we glide into the bar, the first eye contact and what we are wearing.

Of course, this works both ways. We will also get an immediate sense of the other person from those first few seconds and it's good to tune into our instincts; they're probably right.

The eyes have it...

Notice when close friends of yours look at you, they glance from one eye to the other and then look down to your mouth and nose. This triangular motion is a sure sign of a positive emotional connection with you. The more passionate someone is about you the wider the movement from left eye to right eye is. In fact, if their gaze moves very slowly down to your mouth and remains there for a long time, this is a very strong signal that they are flirting with you; what would it be like to kiss you?!

You too can mirror this to show that you are into your first date. If this does not seem to be reciprocated by your date, it is probably a sign that your date is not as into you as is ideal.

Eyebrows are an extremely useful tool for flirting with someone. When two friends meet, they naturally raise their eyebrows. So, practice this as a way of engaging with your new date. The more exaggerated the movement, the more engaging. Within reason of course!

Blinking rate increases the more attracted we are to another person. So, to let the other person know your intentions, practice blinking at a faster rate. They are likely to read this as a signal that you are in to them and respond with a similar increase in blinking, leaving you both with a warm and fuzzy feeling inside!

Mirroring

One of the most effective ways we build a close rapport with another person is through mirroring. This is reflecting back the gestures and movements of the other person (as if they are looking into a mirror). An example of this would be if your date sits back in their seat in the restaurant, you do the same. A test of this is to watch two good friends in conversation in a bar or club; they will mirror each other's movements. But, do avoid mirroring negative movements such as fidgeting!

Of course, this is all to do with feeling with comfortable with people who seem to behave and think in the same way we do. If you have any doubt about whether to mirror or not, simply allow half a minute before mirroring. This will also allow you to appear more natural. In fact, with time and the right person the mirroring will happen instinctively.

Positioning your body

Moving from the face to the rest of your body, you can use your hands, legs and feet to signal an intense interest in your date. As a general rule, pointing these body parts in the direction of your date signals the building of a bond. However, as with all gestures and body movements, try not to go over the top! There is a point at which it all starts to become a little comical and counterproductive.

A good example of employing the pointing principle to good effect is when sitting side by side in a bar. This would be an opportunity to show interest in the other by deliberately using your hands as you talk by positioning them in the direction of your date, even though your body is positioned side-on.

If used subtly, your date will pick up on the signals subconsciously and respond similarly. If not, this may be a sign that he or she is not for you.

Beware

As mentioned earlier, all this can be taken too far! Do allow space for spontaneity Walking in to your first date with eyebrows Sellotaped up, blinking ten times a second, arms out in front (pointing at your date), and mimicking every single movement they make is unlikely to deliver the results you want. It needs to look natural.

At the same time, avoid jumping to conclusions about the body language you observe in your date. Is it a one off? As a general rule, look for three or four signals before coming to any conclusion. And remember, you can always ask how the other person is feeling about you!

Article by Dominic James