Can it really be true that within the first 3 to 6 minutes, we tend to make snap judgments that can determine the long term success of a relationship?

• First impressions determine long term outcome
• Our gut feeling drives our subsequent behaviour
• We need to trust our internal blueprint of an ideal partner

Whilst many hold on to the rather sensible (my mother often tells me this!) notion that true love develops over time, a recent study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that people decide whether “this is going to work” within minutes of meeting for the first time and that this quick decision pretty much determines the long term outcome.

Interestingly, the research was focussed on same sex friendships but has clear implications for more intimate dating.

Indeed, it is probably the case that going with your gut feeling during the reading of someone's profile and early correspondence may prevent you from wasting time on fruitless rendezvous. At the very least, how you feel during the first three to six minutes of the first meeting is likely to be extremely predictive!

It can all be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You make a prediction about what kind of relationship you could have with a person which then determines how much effort you choose to put in. The theory goes something like this:

"If I think there is mileage in this, I'll be more open with you, communicate more and do things that will help ensure an enduring relationship does develop.” "If I have a more negative prediction about a future relationship then I will restrict communication and make it harder to develop."

So, when it comes to dating, first impressions can be crucial. Which means the content of your online profile is critical – and the choice of photo! Dr. Glenn Wilson from King's College London argues that it's all down to the instincts we develop by the age of three. These instincts include a blueprint of our ideal partner; somewhere inside, you know exactly what you want.

It can all sound a little spooky but I guess it all means, like many things in life, that it pays to trust your gut feeling!

Article by Dominic James